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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29481405">Gone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LusciousDean/pseuds/LusciousDean'>LusciousDean</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Hurt, Loss, Love, M/M, Pain, Tears, gone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:53:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>397</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29481405</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LusciousDean/pseuds/LusciousDean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What would have happened if Steven Grant Rogers had taken the serum, but was too late.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Gone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! This is going to be horribly sad, my apologies. It is also going to be short. For that, I am also sorry.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Steven Grant Rogers,</p><p> </p><p>I regret to inform you that Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th Infantry Regiment passed away in action. My deepest condolences. </p><p> </p><p>Sincerely,</p><p>Lieutenant John E. Stellon.</p><p> </p><p>I stopped. Folks say that time stops when you experience something traumatic. The problem was that time didn’t stop. People kept moving, clocks kept ticking, laughter and joy continued on. I, though, was the only one that stopped. I froze and with that, my entire world crumbled.</p><p>I couldn’t cry. I mean, I could if I so desired, but I nothing came out. I stared at the godforsaken paper in front of me. I always knew he would eventually leave. Stop talking to me. Something along those lines. It hadn’t crossed my mind though, that the night he shipped out could be the last night I saw him. It didn’t cross my mind because we were Steve and Bucky. Best friends. With each other till the end of the line. That’s why mortality doesn’t become real until you or your loved one are face to face with death itself. Mortality in that moment had been more real than anything else in my life.</p><p>Then I thought of him and that is when the tears started. I didn’t even realize until the entire page was covered with salty tears. Regretful tears. I wasn’t in control of them, so I just let them happen. I wondered what I could have done differently. If I had gotten to where he was stationed sooner, if I had somehow stopped him from going, so many possible things I could have done. </p><p>Immediately when someone experiences a loss, they look for people to blame. It could be themselves, it could be someone else, it could even be the person they lost. As my tears hit the paper, I had already decided whose fault it was. It was mine. No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it.</p><p>I don’t know how long I cried for. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours. Who am I to say? Yet, distraught isn’t the word I would use. The word I would use would be gone. </p><p>I never was anyone until he helped me become who I was supposed to be. He helped me smile, laugh, be alive for the first time. So, yes. I believe the word I used is accurate. Without him, I am gone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed it. Hopefully more writing coming soon.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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